cinema.

cinema.
an affliction, a disease.
one that i've embraced, rather than tried to get rid of.
for half of my life now.
i think she's here to stay, in fact i hope she does.
but cinema has hurt me in so many ways.
i love cinema, i really do, i can't get her out of me
i absorb and absorb, she's in my pores my veins
my eyes
my mind
she's ruined me pathetically
disrupted my life in so ways
is my life in so many ways
is my life
is cinema my life
i'd like her to be
cinema cannot leave me
other things have left me, or never even came my way
all because of cinema.
and when people ask me about her, i just say,
"i just hope it's all worth it in the end".
who knows if cinema will ever reward me.
cinema's made me useless, really.
though it's really quite obvious, anyone could see
that i blame cinema, rather than myself
for the things that left me or never even came my way.
i am lacking as a human being. am quite useless, really.
so am i to blame or is it cinema's fault
she struck me at 16